Well, this is going to be short because I really can't think well right now. I just need your prayers. I had another grand mal seizure on Thursday afternoon. Again, God was with me and I was at the clinic when it happened so I had nurses doing everything they could to help me. The only bad thing about having a seizure at the clinic is that when I seize I HAVE to be on the floor - if I try to stay in my chair I just fall or slide right out of it. So, I seize on the cold, hard, tile floor at the clinic. Since my body goes into horribly weird positions I often find that I am hitting my back repeatedly flat onto the floor only to raise up into a backbend like position and do it again. This doesn't hurt when you are in the midst of a seizure but afterwards you feel like someone beat you down with an aluminum bat.
So, now I have to schedule an x-ray of my spine to make sure I didn't damage it. I have a horrible black/blue bruise on my left hip and have no idea WHEN that happened or HOW it happened - I just know it was at some point during the seizure. I'm concerned that I might need to get that area x-rayed as well since my deficiency in Vitamin D has caused me to have osteopenia (sp?) in my hips. That's what you have before you go on into osteoperosis. Basically it means my hip bones aren't as dense & could fracture more easily.
Now, I'm on 1,200 mgs of my anti-seizure drug but we're thinking this is coming from the Mepron and my Babesia fighting hard to stay in my body. I won't be taking Mepron tomorrow (which would have been day 4 since I took it Thursday) and trying to test our theory that the Mepron is causing more problems than we thought. I may have to stop trying to treat the Babesia for now until we can get some of my other chronic illnnesses gone - like the Influenza A & B. I'll keep you posted, but for now they have me drugged to the max to keep me from seizing and it keeps me from being able to think straight. I'm off to try and nap now.
Last thing - God was with me people - He was holding my right hand the whole time. Even though a seizure is one of those things you want to say "WHY ME, GOD? DON'T I HAVE ENOUGH ALREADY?" it's all part of His plan. He never allows me to be away from the clinic when they happen which shows me yet again that He is carrying me through this time of pain and tears. God didn't make me have a seizure nor did He give me all these illnesses, but He is using all of them to turn me into the person He wants me to be. One that trusts in Him at all times, in all ways. I do trust Him - I hope I follow His word and I pray that I spread His love. I pray I don't have to go through another seizure, but if it is what will bring me to my knees (literally and figuratively) to praise His name out loud - to pray to Him during those times with thanksgiving of what He has given me. Like a wonderful family, a loving husband, a doctor who finally knows what is happening in my body...He is to be thanked at all times. I PRAISE YOUR NAME DEAR LORD AS THE ONE WHO HOLDS ME UP, WHO SURROUNDS ME WITH THE AWESOME LOVE OF YOUR PRESENCE. I know God is with me during those times because I feel Him and so do others. Pray that you and I will both know to PRAISE HIM during hard times and that we will never take the small things He does for granted. We often overlook the small things and focus on the big things we think He IS NOT doing for us. We should praise Him all day long for just giving us another day to ask for His forgiveness and mercy. He gives those in such abundance it's amazing to fathom how He does it all.
I must nap now. But found this verse to be one to cling to:
"The Sovereign Lord is my strength, he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3:19 (NIV)
He will bring me to the heights - it will be the height of healing, a height of compassion for others, a height that will lift me up out of this valley of sickness and pain and up onto a mountaintop to shout out loud my love and praise for Him.
Much love to you all - thank you for every single thought and prayer.
K
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3 comments:
You truly give me the faith that our savior will never give us more than we can handle. I'm sending out prayer request left and right and to be honest - people are so touched and overwhelmed with your battle - but more so your courage and faith. I'm always here and I love you!! Praying the pain is easin up. Not sure if MP of Mom is there, but I know you are in good hands and that makes me more content.
Just checking in today. I get worried when it goes this long. I sure hope that you are resting. Keep fighting the good fight. I love you.
Ash - I love you. Thanks for always checking in and just for commenting. Some people tell me that they aren't able to leave comments and I hate that because I love to hear what people think. If they have encouraging words to say or verses that helped them through a tough time, I would love for them to be able to share them.
We will run one day & I don't care if you beat me - I just will thank God that He put you in my life, to talk to, to type to, and eventually, to run with :)
Love you-
K
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