Even during a seizure, God is with me.

Just a quick update because I had some crazy stuff happen in the last few days and want some prayers going up for me to get good sleep and allow my body to rest and heal from all the chaotic events! I had seizure in treatment yesterday. They referred to it as a myoclonic seizure, but by definition those don't normally involve your entire body. I feel to the floor and did not completely lose conciousness, although some of the events I can't recall clearly. For anyone who knows much about seizures I had more of a "tonic-clonic" generalized seizure. It lasted for a pretty long time (well, as long in seizure time - like 20+ minutes maybe?).

I had a medication change on Wednesday and had been weaning off of my Valium and Ativan because the new med was a replacement for those. I had an odd feeling about the new drug from the very beginning and after only 48 hours on the drug I knew I needed to tell the nurse what it was doing to me. I didn't feel like myself at all - having crazy thoughts, crying uncontrollably, feeling anxious, etc. But the main symptom I should have paid attention to was the stabbing headache behind my right eye. The nurses could see the vein on the side of my nose (near the corner of your eye) was bulging out & pulsating. This headache lasted 12 hours and I tried ice packs and everything but no real relief. Oddly enough, the headache was gone after the seizure.

God was with me the whole time. I had the seizure DURING my afternoon treatment so I was at the clinic with plenty of nurses around. I knew what was going on - I have had these before, although they never lasted as long and weren't quite as severe. I prayed out loud & said, "Thank you God for allowing this to happen here at the clinic. Thank you God for these sweet nurses who are taking such good care of me. Thank you God for not allowing M to have to see this and definitely for not allowing it to occur at the apartment when we were alone. Thank you God for being with me RIGHT NOW and allowing me to know and feel your presence. I know you will not give me more than I can bear - I know that I will come through this and I thank you for always being with me and watching over me." Those were the only words I was able to say clearly without slurring or stuttering.

The reason for the seizure is a mixture of things - 1) the new medication did not react well in my central nervous system 2) getting off of the Ativan & Valium was a bad move since those are used as "anti-seizure meds" in some patients and 3) I am extremely deficient in Magnesium which can cause muscle spasms that lead to seizures. The good news is that I was not scared and that I was more concerned with the patients who were having to watch it happen. You don't have pain during the seizure but the muscle contractions can cause you to make horrible sounding grunting noises. After the seizure you are very sore from the muscles contracting so severely. I honestly looked like a fish out of water with my head trying to go back and my feet and legs trying to go back - I was arching my back and had no control over any of my movements. I think it is much harder to watch someone have a seizure than to actually be the one having it. At least in this instance because I knew what was happening and I was not scared - I knew I just had to ride it out. And that's what I did - along with the help of some IV meds!

Today I went to morning treatment and the nurses were surprised I made it because with the IV drugs they had to administer plus the exhaustion that comes from having the seizure itself, I really should have gone home & slept for hours on end. However, my central nervous system was so keyed up that I only slept for a few hours. I received injections of Ativan during treatments today instead of taking it orally just to make sure I got the right amount of the drug into my system. I still came home and couldn't even nap. I have yet to sleep more than 5 hours total since this happened (which was around 4:45 or so yesterday afternoon).

The new drug was discontinued and I was put on a anti-seizure medication that also helps with nerve pain and muscle spasms. I read all about it and feel like it could really make a difference in my getting a good night's rest. We also started me back on the Ativan and Valium just like I had been taking. There was no way for the doctor to know I would react to the new medication like this - it seriously happens to less than 0.5 percent of the people who take it.

Okay...I've written a lot more than I meant too - need to get off this computer because it can stir up my central nervous system too. I have more to say about what all occured and how God was so very present with me during this episode. But, for now, I need to see if I can actually sleep some.

Much love to you all!
K