So, I started the 3 medications to treat the Babesia (another of the Lyme co-infections) on Sunday. It's a hard system because I'm only taking the prescription medication every 3 days. We all know now that my body cannot handle doing this kind of thing every single day. There are two supplements that go with the prescription to help your body keep it in your system longer so it can fight all that nasty Babesia. Bad thing is that the prescription has to be taken at 12 hour intervals and must be taken with "fatty foods & proteins" which I don't digest well still. I'm eating sausage patties with a couple of biscuits for breakfast and then eating a fatty/protein dinner on the days I take the prescription. However, while one of the supplements that goes with it is easy to take (just take a pill with breakfast & lunch every day) the other supplement is to be taken the day before I take the prescription medication and then again the next day when I take the prescription medication. That one is the hardest because it cannot be taken within an hour of ANY OTHER MEDICATIONS - that includes IV meds. So, finding a way to fit into the medication schedule was tough, but we've done it. I also have to take it with 4 ounces of grapefruit juice which I don't like, but I'm doing whatever is asked of me to get well!!!
I do need some prayers though because these medications have really caused me to deal with some depression. The doctor also says I'm "herxing" which is the term used when you kill off some of the bacteria and viruses and they are basically toxins in your bloodstream until they get filtered out. A "herx" means you will feel worse physically and even mentally sometimes. I haven't been pain free in so long that I don't think I would know what to do if I woke up that way so I can't use my pain (bone/joint pain) as an indicator for when I am "herxing". However, I have found that I can definitely tell by my moods. I get extremely depressed. I start questioning if this will ever end. I wonder if I shouldn't just pack the car up & go home. Worst of all, I can get so low that I pray to God to just take me on home to heaven. The good thing is that I recognize that these thoughts aren't really coming from my brain - they are coming from the "herx", sometimes they come from side effects of the meds, and sometimes they come because IV antibiotics twice daily turns your brain into mush.
I know that the devil comes to us when we are at our weakest - whether it is physically or mentally. I know that the devil uses my depression to put all kinds of horrible thoughts in my head and he wants to take away my will to fight. Mainly though, if he can't take away my will to fight, he definitely wants to stop me from praising God during my down times. But I won't do it. It's hard some days to wake up and say, "I'm going to start singing praises to my Lord and Savior right now!" But, as I start to recognize these "evil thoughts" I listen more closely to hear God's word. I am blessed to have treatment friends that are true believers and who lift me up on those days and remind me that God's plan might include me going through this rough time, but He has great plans for me when I reach the end of this dark tunnel. I trust His plans. Even in the midst of my confusion, even when I may say aloud, "Dear Lord, WHAT DO YOU WANT?", even though I might cry and weep for the life I think I am "supposed to have" as opposed to my current one, if I can be quiet long enough...God speaks to me. He reassures me of His love and His faithfulness. He reminds me of the promises written about in the Bible and how I am one of His many children and therefore, I too will benefit from those wonderful promises.
Okay, so now you know to pray for my mental attitude to be strong and pray that I resist the temptation to think God has forgotten me - not only has He not forgotten me, He has never left my side during this entire ordeal. I only have to be silent and still and feel His Holy Spirit within me leading my brain to brighter thoughts and moods. The trick is to keep me quiet for that long - haha!
Now, I figure I haven't posted any pictures on here for awhile (I tend to post on facebook faster than on here!) so here are some that my treatment seatmate (and by now my very close friend, Suz) and I took after morning treatment. Mind you this was before I started the Babesia treatment so I look really happy - ha! Of course, I don't think I know how to NOT smile when there's a camera around. OH - and by the way - it was 36 degrees one morning this week when I was leaving for treatment and only in the 40s when I was picked up 2 hours later!! This weekend the highs are only supposed to be in the 40s and lower 50s. I wanted to let you know that before you thought, "Why is K all bundled up in these pictures?" Well, I'll tell you why - because Missouri is not Alabama, they don't mess around with any Indian summer!!!
Oh & today's calendar verse goes right along with what I already wrote:
"You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed." Joshua 23:14
So here are a couple of pics:
First one is me pushing the Benadryl syringe into my IV line. Benadryl helps with the herxes and mainly helps me to be able to nap just a little during the day. I'm not as lucky as some people who can sleep during treatment! I pray one day I'll be able to do that!
The next is one I took of me & Suz right before we left morning treatment. Oh & yes, I am wearing a hat & scarf INSIDE. The hat hides my dirty hair, but also helps keep me warm. I was wearing fuzzy lined suede boots, a long sleeve t-shirt, a short sleeve t-shirt over that and a long cardigan sweater/coat along with the cozy scarf AND had a down comforter on top of me along with a space heater near my feet. Yet, I still come home freezing!!! Hopefully when my blood levels get to the normal ranges I won't stay so cold!
And don't be fooled by Suz's t-shirt, she was also wearing boots, a hat, and had just taken her sweater jacket off. She has now purchased a beautiful blue scarf and wears it to treatment because I told her how warm mine kept me!
I thank God everyday for this gift of an amazing friend during one of, well, scratch that - THE roughest times of my life. It was no coincidence that we were seated next to one another and that we are both from the same town in Alabama!!! God granted me a wonderfully funny and very talented friend in Suz and I am again humbled by His constant goodness, and how He goes before me in ALL things. Oh, and our houses in Alabama are only about 7 minutes away from one another! No, there's no coincidence in that at all. Thank you Lord for all my wonderful treatment friends. Hopefully I'll feel like taking pictures again one day soon and I'll get some of my other "war buddies" otherwise known as my treatment friends!!!
Much love to you all-
K
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