Gratitude for everything

I wanted to let you all know that I am already making some great progress out here. I am talking well again with just a stutter or two here & there. My brain seems to be functioning so much better. That is due to the Heparin (the blood thinner) doing it's job so that my heart can pump blood & oxygen to those areas of my brain that had been deprived. The thinner blood has also helped with most of my cardiac issues. I am truly thankful for these miracles that I'm seeing everyday no matter how small they may seem to others, I KNOW how big they are to me!

I still am in a good bit of bone and joint pain, but that's to be expected. Today I went and had my bone density scan done at the hospital and will likely find out the results at my next doctor's meeting with will be this coming Monday. Since my Vitamin D is so low they are worried I might already be showing signs of osteoporosis (sp?) and that I may need to take a supplement to help get calcium back into my bones.

The nurse told me today that she & the doctor have been amazed at my progress and that they know my positive mental attitude and my sheer desire and determination to get well are what is behind my making such great strides. I told the nurse that having been sick for most of my life I think there are three things that are absolutely critical for a chronically ill person to have. First is of course faith in God. Faith that He will carry you through the hard times and that He will never give you more than you can bear. Second, the fact that I have support from my husband, my family, my husband's family and my friends helps to keep me focused on WHY I want to fight this so hard! The third and last thing is really important and that is to have a positive mental attitude. You must be able to laugh and find humor in the little things. If you only focus on how bad you hurt, or how sick you are, you are headed for a deep depression. If your focus stays only on the negative then eventually the illness will win. You have to believe that you can fight and that you can beat it. The nurse also said for me to expect to have good and bad days. As I'm sure I've said before, as more of the biofilm gets broken down we will start fighting off the bigger infections - like the Bartonella. When those infections come out they will make me feel really rotten until I can beat them down with the antibiotics and supplements. I told her that the mere fact that I am seeing such wonderful improvement in such a short amount of time lets me know that I am in the right place. I am receiving the right treatment finally & I know that this is a rollercoaster ride so I'm buckled in and ready for whatever may come. I'm just thankful for the chance to get healthy - good days, bad days and every day in between - I'm just so very grateful to be here.

On another note the blood thinner is making itself known in an entirely new way today. I am passing yet another kidney stone. Not a bad one I don't think, I mean, I'm having some sharp pains, but I've had MUCH WORSE! But, for the past 3 years or so I was passing stones without any blood in my urine (TMI??? Sorry...) which is really unusual since stones basically cut their way out of your body. It also seemed to be taking longer for my stones to pass. One stone might take a month to 6 weeks where it used to take a week or so. Apparently my thick blood might be to blame. When the stone would try and cut it's way down the track my blood would clot so fast and surround it until it would just stick in one place for awhile. Now that I'm on the blood thinner I think this one will pass much faster. Unfortunately, I am passing so much blood in my urine that the nurse wants me to keep an eye on that and head to the ER if the bleeding gets to be too severe. I told her I would go if I HAD to but I would much rather just try to pass it here or at the clinic and not deal with the heavy pain meds they dope me up with for a stone. I will pray about that and ask that God lead me to the hospital if I need to go. But I will not try and be "too strong" because I don't need a kidney stone or the pain from one to get in my way of treatment. They can deal you fits sometimes and I'm not going to try and be a hero here! I've got enough going on so know that I will head to the ER if need be. The doctor here already gave me the name of a urologist that works at the local hospital that she's worked with many times before. The hospital is only like a 5 minute drive from here too which is good.

I just can't tell you how very grateful I am to feel like I am starting to see parts of the "old me" returning. I love the fact that I haven't had to stop and think 15 million times as I type this entry! I love the fact that I am feeling stronger and I love the fact that I just feel like I am seeing SOME IMPROVEMENTS after years of only watching helplessly as I seemed to go downhill!!! I believe God is so very good and I know He has led me to this doctor and this clinic to be treated from head to toe while He treats my heart, my emotions, and my attitude. I am grateful that my husband will be here Thursday afternoon and I am so thankful my mom has been here with me taking such good care of me. It has lifted her spirits to see me improving and she & I both know that M will be thrilled when he gets to see how much better I am feeling already! I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I am so very grateful for every little blessing that God is bestowing upon my body right now.

I hope you are all doing well. Oh & my daily Bible verse calendar had a good one today:

"Pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The power of the righteous is powerful and effective." James 5:16

I know how much all of your prayers have helped me - physically and spiritually - and I am grateful for each and every one of them.

I am praising God tonight for all that He has done for me. I am praising Him because I know He is the Great Physician and He is the one responsible for my healing. Simply put, I am praising Him because He alone deserves my praise! So on that note:

"Praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you." Joel 2:26