A new perspective on suffering...

I mentioned in an earlier entry that I started reading a book called “100 Days in The Secret Place” and it is a compilation of the writings of 4 Christian authors from the 1600s. I hadn’t heard of any of them, but it was a gift M & I were given around Christmas and I kept meaning to read it and just didn’t get around to it. In fact, I just tossed it in one of my bags on the way up here without thinking much about it.

I took it to my afternoon treatment session the other day and was just blown away by what I read. It began with the writings of the Archbishop Fenelon of France and he writes about “The Way of the Cross” and how Christians should embrace the cross, or rather, that we should see even the bad times of our life as times to embrace the cross and learn through suffering. As I sat in my treatment chair, I thought about how much I have learned through my own suffering. I know it is not to compare my suffering with what others have gone through, but I know it has changed me and I feel God has a purpose for allowing me to be on this path. It really helps to take my mind off of thinking, “poor pitiful me” when I read about how our suffering on this earth is meant to bring us closer to God.

I wanted to share some of the things from this book that really made me see my own suffering in a different light. I pray I always keep my heart in line with God’s will and that I learn all that He wants to teach me through this time of my life. Reading these writings made me embrace my suffering and see it as a chance to gain a more intimate relationship with God. I know that I would not be able to handle all of this without His grace and mercy and I am thankful that God is using this to teach me so many valuable lessons. Granted, many of them are lessons I should have learned long ago, but stubbornness and pride got in the way. They still do on some days, but I pray that God removes them from me as He is removing these illnesses. I pray that He will heal me from the inside out – from my spirit all the way through my physical body.
Here are some passages from the book from the Archbishop Fenelon of France that I thought might be as uplifting to you in your own life struggles as they are to me during this difficult time:

“See God’s hand in the circumstances of your life. Do you want to experience true happiness? Submit yourself peacefully and simply to the will of God, and bear your sufferings without struggle. Nothing so shortens and soothes your pain as the spirit of non-resistance to your Lord.

As wonderful as this sounds, it still may not stop you from bargaining with God. The hardest thing about suffering is not knowing how great it will be or how long it will last. You will be tempted to want to impose some limits to your suffering. No doubt you will want to control the intensity of your pain.

Do you see the stubborn and hidden hold you have over your life? This control makes the cross necessary in the first place. Do not reject the full work that the power of the cross could accomplish in you.

I have no doubt that God treats you as one of His friends by giving you the cross. God’s way accomplishes His purpose quicker than anything you could think of. God is able to seek out and destroy the roots of self-love. You, on your own, could never find those hidden roots. God can see the entire path of self-love within your heart. Let Him attack self-love at its strongest point.
Pray for strength and faith enough to trust yourself completely to God. Follow Him simply wherever He may lead you and you will not have to think up big plans to bring about your perfection. Your new life will begin to grow naturally.

I know you want to see the road ahead rather than trusting God. If you continue this way, the road will get longer and your spiritual progress will slow down. Give yourself as completely as you can to God. Do so until your final breath, and He will never desert you.”

He then goes on to talk about the “value of the cross” in the next chapter:

“Do you wonder why God has to make it so hard on you? Why doesn’t He make you good without making you miserable in the meantime? Of course He could, but He does not choose to do so. He wants you to grow a little at a time and not burst into instant maturity. This is what He has decided and you can only adore His wisdom – even when you don’t understand it.
I am awed by what suffering can produce. You and I are nothing without the cross. I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me, but when it is over I look back in admiration for what God has accomplished. Of course I am then ashamed that I bore it so poorly. I have learned so much from my foolish reactions.

God uses the disappointments, disillusionments, and failures of your life to take your trust away from yourself and help you put your trust in Him.

You do not see with the eyes of eternity. God knows everything. Nothing happens without His consent. You are upset by small losses, but do not see eternal gains! Don’t dwell on your suffering. Your oversensitivity makes your trials worse. Abandon yourself to God."

I’ll finish up with what he writes about “The Purpose of Suffering” but there is so much more I am enjoying about this book that I’m sure I will share more as I go through it! Here’s the last part I’ll share today though:

"God never makes you suffer unnecessarily. He intends for your suffering to heal and purify you. The hand of God hurts you as little as it can.

Do not waste your suffering. Let suffering accomplish what God wants it to in your life. Never get so hard that you suffer for no reason and for no purpose. Paul says, “God loves a cheerful giver.” How much He must love those who cheerfully give themselves to His dealings.”

I don’t know if all of that touches you as much as it has me over the past few days. I just felt the need to share it. I know that God uses everything in our lives for His purpose if we allow Him to do so. I never thought God made me sick, but I know that God is using my illness and my situation to break me and mold me into who He desires me to become. I pray that every single day that I wake up and want to ask, “Why me, Lord?” that I remember that I do not see with the eyes of eternity and that I continue to trust that God has great plans for me as I go through this struggle in my life. I know there will be future struggles as well, but I trust that the more I learn to give in to His will, those struggles will not last as long as if I try and resist them. I want to learn as much as I can through this time of my life and not waste a single moment by trying to second guess God’s will in all of this. I pray that M and I both learn to continually lean on God for strength even after this trial is over. I pray that we hold firmly to our faith in God’s plan for our lives from here on out.

I hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July weekend! Thank you so much for reading my ramblings and for commenting on them and especially for your many sweet prayers. I am so blessed to call you all my friends.

“God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV)